*All right so a couple of weekends ago, a buddy of my found out about this traveling circus in the area. We got in the car and he drove me to this po-dunk in the middle of gawd-damn-no-where Iowa about 15 miles out of town. It was completely sketchy; straight up nomadic carny people. The ringmaster, or whatever, was this midget who I'm pretty sure was using coke or something. Anyway the reason we had gone there was they had this thing were you could box a kangaroo, and, if you lasted 5 minutes with the thing, you won $500.
First off let me say for anyone who has never been up close on a kangaroo, they are surprising tall. This wasn't too excellant of a discovery as I'm a pretty short guy to begin with, but actually did pretty well against him for the first minute or so. You know, I mean, a kangaroo can't really do combinations or anything or throw a hook or a upper-cut; they're basically like one of those boxing nun puppets with their punches. However, no one ever told me they could KICK! Apparentally I missed that day in second grade as everyone else I've told this story already knew that. I did not. The fella leans back and knocks me square on the head with his right foot. I black-out and wake up in the hospital with nine stiches in my head.
Thank God my buddy got me out of there and to the hospital before the those circus freaks started going threw my pockets. They're out now - took them out myself with some nail-clippers and some tweezers; suprising easy - and the cuts actually healed up pretty nicely.
*Except for the nine stiches and how I took them out, ABSOLUTELY nothing about this story is true. It was purely for entertainment purposes. I just really enjoy telling it and find it far more interesting than having a construction accident. I just prefer the idea of a world where you can throw caution to the wind one Friday afternoon and take off to go fight a Kangroo.
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